Durian Update

An update on my earlier post about durian:

Went to SEA for a late-night take-out order for the Boy's Fourth Meal. In penance for making me drive him during an Anthony Bourdain episode in my PJs, I made him get me a durian smoothie. And penance was paid a thousand-fold back upon me.

I only managed about 4 sips before I dumped it into the trashcan (the giant outdoor one for collection, so it couldn't emanate its putrid nuclear-waste glow on us anymore). My best attempt at describing the taste: rotten pineapple and running shoes in a men's locker room. It definitely starts with kind of a tropical-fruit-gone-bad kind of taste, which is like heaven compared to the sharp urinal smell that follows. Something is definitely pee-like in that flavor profile.

Probably not (the Boy's) money well spent, but it's nice to have broadened one's horizons.

Someday I Want to Try...

Miracle Fruit

It makes everything, even really sour things, taste sweet. It lasts for about 2 hours per berry. Reading about it online is like reading about dropping acid, if acid was $3 a tab. People even have "flavor tripping" parties with characters like this guy, aka Supreme Commander.

Hurry before there's a law against it!

Someday I Want to Try...

a durian.

It's a fruit from Indonesia and Malaysia that looks like yellow custard inside and a Medieval instrument of torture outside. Pregnant women and people with high blood pressure are traditionally advised not to eat it. Even more imposing is its odor. The ever-quotable Anthony Bourdain claims: "Your breath will smell as if you'd been French-kissing your dead grandmother." This gives you an idea of how hard the flavor of durian is to describe. Some food writers or naturalists have said it smells like stale vomit, like rotten onions, and like turpentine. Anthony Burgess said is was like eating raspberry custard in a bathroom. This from the man who brought you A Clockwork Orange.

Something so indescribable can only be understood if experienced.

SEA offers a durian smoothie (and lots of other better-tasting fruit flavors), but the two times I've had the chutzpah to order it, they were fresh out. Hard to believe, I know. Despite one of the employees telling me it will make my breath smell for days, I will not be deterred in my quest. Asia Market on West Henrietta Road may just be the place...